Unfortunately, we don’t have time to put all the funny we produce into our productions of Spoiler: The Panel. When that happens, whether due to lack of time, or due to one person producing far far more than the other people on the panel (I’m not bitter at all…) some bits need to get cut. While we strive to put our Spoiler videos on Youtube, and eventually Spoiler 1 and Spoiler 2 will make it onto the Youtube scene, we are also going to give you a look at what happens behind the scenes in Spoiler as well. So here is the forgotten FLCL bit that didn’t make the cut.

If anyone ever told you that a guitar couldn’t be used as an effective bludgeoning weapon, well, first of all they are bad at bringing up interesting topics of discussion, and second of all they have never seen FLCL. FLCL was a lot like Gainax’s previous anime Evangelion except this time they admitted they had no fucking idea what they were talking about. Except I knew what they were talking about, it was a show about puberty, and I knew this because FLCL had more penis, sex, and giant robot references than a Nine Inch Nails concert guest-starring mindless self indulgence. For example, Haruko’s guitar makes penises… so does Trent Reznor’s. The anime shows a stylized version of the normal conflicts a boy goes through while growing up, trying to excel in school, trying to find his first love, trying to deal with his parents, trying to have his first sexual experience where the hot alien chick gives you head causing giant robots to pop out of your skull and terrorize the town to the amusement of his pyromaniac pedophile girlfriend as she squeals in delight until he is found by intergalactic space curry police with big eyebrows and hot interracial warrant officers and they try to prevent him from playing baseball but he hits his dad who was actually a robot but his real dad was dehydrated from writing too much fanmanga and then there was bread and the good robot is blue and the cat girl is a spider robot but the good robot is actually some kind of giant car-eating dog thing that summons a huge cowboy hand to grab an ancient artifact iron to smooth out the wrinkles of the planet killing us but the boy is possessed by some weird space phoenix thing and gets cool powers and swordfights with a double bass and then makes out with the alien which who leaves him blue balled and then life goes on as normal except the girlfriend leaves and the robot is still there and the boy is a bit more mature and likes spicy food or some shit. You know, exactly how you and I experienced it in real life. (Yes girls… this is what male puberty is like… for all of us.)

The concept of this bit was the humor in the run-on sentence, coupled with witty slides of course. However, this bit unfortunately ran a little long, and since we were already running long, we couldn’t really fit in much more. In addition, it was mostly a recap, and if people didn’t catch on to the fact that the joke was that I was comparing this to actual puberty, it may not get very many laughs. Still, this bit is being considered for Spoiler 3, after a little editing. So keep a lookout for it next year!

A rant post by Angelo on October 4, 2008